41 1 Leading and following Arnold doesn’t have his work today because he was getting off the train yesterday and the door closed on his school bag and the train took it away. He yelled to the conductor who said very vulgar things as the train drove away. Something should be done. His sister’s dog ate his homework and I hope it chokes him. Her baby brother peed on her story when she was in the bathroom this morning. A man died in the bathtub upstairs and it overflowed and messed up all Roberta’s homework on the table. […] Toward the end of the term I typed a dozen excuse notes on a stencil and distributed them to my two senior classes. They read, silently and intently. Yo, Mr. McCourt, what’s this? Excuse notes. Whaddya mean, excuse notes? Who wrote them? You did, or some of you did. I omitted the names to protect the guilty. They’re supposed to be written by parents, but you and I know the real authors. Yes, Mikey? So, what are we supposed to do with these excuse notes? We’ll read them aloud. I want you to realize this is the first class in the world ever to study the art of the excuse note, the first class ever, to practice writing them. You are so lucky to have a teacher like me who has taken your best writing, the excuse note, and turned it into a subject worthy of study. They’re smiling. They know. We’re in this together. Sinners. Some of the notes on that sheet were written by people in this class. You know who you are. You used your imagination and didn’t settle for the old alarm-clock story. You’ll be making excuses the rest of your life and you’ll want them to be believable and original. You might even wind up writing excuses for your own children when they’re late or absent or up to some devilment. Try it now. Imagine you have a fifteen-year-old son or daughter who needs an excuse for falling behind in English. Let it rip. […] to choke – kæfa to type – vélrita a stencil – sniðmát intently – einbeitt to omit – sleppa a subject worthy of study – viðfangsefni sem vert er að rannsaka a sinner – syndari to settle for – að sætta sig við devilment – ósvífni to fall behind – að dragast aftur úr To let it rip means to do something without holding back or limiting yourself, usually with enthusiasm and energy.
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