39 1 What’s your story? ‘David, are you wearing my nightie?’ It’s the nightie Mum packed to take to the hospital when she had Livvy. I don’t think she’s worn it since; Mum and Dad usually sleep naked. I know this because I’ve bumped into them on the landing in the middle of the night enough times to be scarred for life. ‘I thought it might keep me cool,’ I say quickly. ‘You know, like those long white dress things Arab men wear.’ ‘Hmmmmm,’ Mum says. ‘You’d better get that,’ I say, nodding towards the phone. I keep the nightie on for dinner, figuring it’ll be less suspicious that way. ‘You look like such a weirdo,’ Livvy says, her eyes narrowing with vague disgust. ‘Now, Livvy,’ Mum says. ‘But he does!’ Livvy protests. Mum and Dad exchange looks. I concentrate really hard on balancing peas on my fork. After dinner I go upstairs. I take out the list I made at the beginning of the summer holidays and sit cross-legged on the bed with it spread out in front of me. Things to achieve this summer by David Piper: 1. Grow my hair long enough to tie back in a ponytail 2. Watch every season of Project Runway in chronological order 3. Beat Dad at Wii Tennis 4. Teach Phil to dance so we can enter Britain’s Got Talent next year and win £250,000 5. Finish my geography coursework 6. Tell Mum and Dad […] a nightie – náttkjóll a landing – stigapallur suspicious – grunsamlegur disgust – viðbjóður to achieve – ná árangri
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